Down to the drain.....

Huu..... Really a mess up emotion right now.... Missing all my best buddies. It's already a year i'm working here, but still, i  do not have a really best friend. Day to day, i'm missing wani and apis so much. As well as a'ie and Aja. Persons that used to work with me. Who will be my strength whenever i'm feeling down. Here, i can't really trust anyone. Even the friend who in same department with me. I'm nearly invisible, nearly disappear. Wish I could run away, disappear in the dark corner, so that no one would ever see my tears. Damn!!!I really do not need this anymore. Wanted to run away, wanted to scream all my heart out, wanted to do bad things, good things, nice things. All messed up. Hate it, love it..... Not sure what emotion should i show, what kind of reaction should i give. Depressed, unfocus and all... Only to this blog, is where can i put it up. Knowing this would be publicise, but at least, i'm being honest to my self. Started to write again, as i'm being solemn. i'm being moody. Think that my idea would came out like this. Hushhh.... What is this feeling. I think that all my happiness have been pour down to the drain.....-end-